“Don’t Hear What We’re NOT Saying”
Communication is a very tricky thing. When we share something with someone else, we’re not just sharing information, we’re sharing body language, word usage, tone of voice, and a host of other things that enter into the communication process. Sometimes we share information in such a way that what we don’t say speaks as loud as what we do say. It’s not intentional. It’s just the way we communicate.
Beyond that, we filter things people tell us based upon our past, our biases, personal opinions, education, and perspectives. What all this means is we have a tendency, if we’re not careful, to hear things that were never communicated. How many times has someone repeated what you said to someone else but ADDED TO your content and even misrepresented your original conversation. In our passion to communicate, it would be easy to NOT say certain things in order to qualify, to balance, or give disclaimers to what we ARE saying.
In an effort to make sure no one is hearing what we’re NOT saying as we communicate change and the future direction of our church, I want to identify several things I’ve heard directly or indirectly that are things that we’ve never said.
1. We will not care for the needs of the flock.
Because we have been talking so much about living the missional and incarnational life in the context of the world, some have heard that we will not be giving any attention to the needs of the body. Fear not! That could not be further from the truth. The fact of people being cared for is not in question, but how they will be cared for. Presently, pastoral care is relegated almost solely to professional, paid staff. Even though there will always be some of that dynamic, the focus will be on the gifted people of God caring for each other. It will be more natural and organic as opposed to organizational and professional. By living in community regularly, those who choose to live life in that context will have an immediate ‘relational net’ that catches them in times of crisis and difficulty. Does that mean paid staff will never get involved? Absolutely not. But what it does mean is that the most effective way of caring for each other is in the context of family. When we walk together relationally, you can’t help but be there for one another through every season of life. Paid staff will give much of their time equipping, encouraging, and coaching our community leaders in pastoral skills. When issues get beyond our leaders, vocational staff will always be there to help.
2. Traditional, attractional churches are bad, insincere, and unfruitful.
Once again, we are dealing with partial communication (not giving qualifiers or disclaimers), or filtered listening (reacting out of loyalty to traditional church life). Both are guilty to some degree. The traditional model of church, whether that be a smaller congregation or mega church of thousands, has played a positive, significant role in the lives of countless people for decades. Most of those reading this article are products of this traditional model. What our church is moving toward is not to question the integrity, sincerity, or excellence of any other traditional model of church. It is NOT questioning whether people are reached, healed, and blessed. But as we’ve said recently, we have had to ask ourselves questions that we would have never asked had we been one of those traditional growing churches.
When Jesus commanded us to make disciples and stated that He was on a mission to build His church and extend His kingdom, did He have in His mind’s eye, thousands of buildings where people outside the faith would have to journey in order to hear the gospel and discover the reality of the true God? Did He have in mind thousands of people sitting in rows, listening to bible lectures week after week, year after year from one gifted teacher? Has all of our money, effort, programs, events, and buildings fulfilled the mandate to make disciples and are we actually changing culture so that it is expressing the values of the kingdom of God? Unfortunately, the facts say “No”. Just listen to these truths.
- A study in the late 90’s showed that church attendance in America has dropped to 26% of the population. (Present Future, p. 3)
- The number of Americans who now claim no religious preference has doubled from 1990 to 2001. (Present Future, p. 3)
- In spite of the American church spending $100 Billion every year on its buildings, programs, and outreach initiatives, we’re not holding on to our own or seeing major life transformation. According to a major study done recently, the divorce rate among church members is HIGHER than the unchurched. This same study showed that about 10 million self-proclaimed, born-again Christians have not been to church in the last six months. (Breaking the Missional Code, p.9)
- Over 60% of active, church going teenagers do not continue in church beyond their high school years. Some studies push that number much higher. Overall, the next generation is disconnecting from church as we’ve known it for the last fifty years. (Barna Research Group, September, 2006)
I think we all get the picture. To ‘not care’ what happens to the people Jesus gave His life to save is the ultimate consumer response. Jesus told us emphatically that His agenda was “to seek and to save the lost”. That agenda, of course, was to be embraced by every follower. Therefore, to keep putting all of our eggs in the traditional church basket would be unwise based upon how our nation is responding to the church as we’ve typically presented ourselves. Therefore, to have traditional churches doing church in the typical way is not bad, is not evil, and is not to be discarded. But to ONLY duplicate these types of churches based upon the things shared, would be a major mistake. Our church is simply choosing to be one of the hundreds pursuing a model that we believe will not only recapture the hearts of the next generation, but will create a new path for the unchurched to find Jesus.
3. Our church will not have worship or meet on weekends.
One thing our church WILL do is meet every week. We will gather and the hope is we will have an incredible worship experience with our incredible God. We are told that God loves passionate praise. But even our music can become a consumer commodity. So, in spite of our love for great worship, we always want our worship expression to reflect hearts of obedience and service. We are looking for a worship leader who will be a part of our body and vision. Please pray with us as we continue our search.
4. Our church will not focus on children or youth.
We are excited about creating a dynamic children’s ministry that will serve our kids when we gather each week. We will have a vocational staff member (part or full time) who will give energy and focus to this. Beyond that, our student ministry will still be led by our present student pastor. Even though there may be some adjustments to how they meet and what their focus will be, they will gather, they will grow, they will relate, they will worship, and they will serve.
5. Get on board or get off the train.
We are on an incredible journey that we want ALL of Restoration to be a part of. Even though there will be a new vision, a new focus, a new location, and a new name, the only way this will be successful is if we walk by faith TOGETHER! If anyone has heard, “Get with the program or get out of the way,” please erase those thoughts from your minds. We realize that there is much to discover and much that is not fully defined. We DO know God has spoken for us to go this direction. But we admit that a lot of what it will look like will take form once we’re on the path. Much like Abraham. He had to leave and travel in the direction God had instructed for his call and future to take shape. That will be the case for us as well. To expect everyone to make a definitive choice NOW as to whether they will go the distance with our new church expression would be wrong. Let’s all, “GET ON BOARD”, and see where this train takes us. If, along the way, someone needs to get off, they can do so only when being led of God’s Spirit to do so. But they should do so with peace and in a spirit of love. It’s going to be a wild and life-giving ride. And honestly, I think we’ll be having more people getting on than off.
To sum up, my prayer is that we can keep the lines of communication clear. If we can minimize people hearing what we’re NOT saying, it will keep us all on the same page. Hopefully, this article has been helpful to put more of where we’re headed in focus.
Ron Hogue, Sr. Pastor
Filed under: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »